- At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars see if they slow down.
- Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want Fries with that.
- Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “”IN.””
- Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
- In the memo field of all your cheque butts, write “” FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS””.
- Finish all your sentences with “”In accordance with the prophecy””.
- Dont use any punctuation
- As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
- Specify that your drive-through order is “”take away.””
- Sing along at the opera.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
- Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of Jungle sounds all day.
- Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their Party because you’re not in the mood.
- Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
- When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “”I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!””
- When leaving the zoo, start running toward the parking lot, Yelling “”Run for your lives, they’re loose!””
- Tell your children over dinner “”Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.””
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